Sunday, 21 March 2021

March 21, 2021

If forced to say nice things about lockdown, I could easily come up with two.

Firstly, being made to stay at home on full pay while being forbidden to work was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Secondly, sitting around at home for months on end cured my plantar fasciitis.

After a lovely lazy, calm and peaceful morning this morning, I was finally driven from my flat mid-afternoon by the noise of all the noisy people noisily enjoying the sunshine on the rec, and all the noisy traffic.

Schlepping through quieter streets was pleasant. I went though Bute Park and into town.








Zara's haunted children shop mannequins were particularly terrifying, but all in all it was nice to wander through a near-deserted town centre:

I walked five miles in Converse - the first time I'd worn them in a year.

Now my heel hurts.

Today's Photo: Oskar


  

Saturday, 20 March 2021

March 20, 2021

With the help of a packet of apricot lebkuchen hearts I found at the back of a cupboard, the essay was finished and handed in by 6pm. 

I am free.

But my hair is falling out:

 
Win some lose some.

Today's Photo: Washbag Bokeh in a Darkened Bathroom


 


Friday, 19 March 2021

March 19, 2021

It's the weekend, motherfuckers!

I am so close to finishing this essay.

So close to finishing it off, submitting it, having a fortnight off for Easter, slogging my way through the two remaining modules of this academic year, dropping out of university, quitting my job and fleeing the country in order to resume a carefree life in New Zealand.

This essay's about eating meat and ignoring the sentience of cows and the brutality of the food industry and stuff, which is how I came to find this photo:


Still trying to figure out a way of working it into the essay.

It is the 78th day of 2021. The year is 22% over. 

This time last year I had no idea how long the remaining 78% of 2020 would feel. 

On that Friday, I was sent home from work, and wouldn't go back until September. 

Walking home on empty streets, it felt like the end of the world.

Today's Photo: Sparrow



Thursday, 18 March 2021

March 18, 2021

I'm back in essayland, and in deep  - it's the last one due before we get two weeks off for the Easter break.

When my student support person told me the holiday dates I was overcome by a relief so profound I welled up, which took both of us by surprise.

Meanwhile, for fun but really more just for something to do that isn't buying groceries, my job, or uni work, I'm back to my usual objectional pursuit of taking pictures of things that are outside in public places (how dare I).

This chick didn't even clock I was taking a photo of her lovely flowery dress:

Looking for things to photograph on those rare occasions I'm out and about helps take my mind off the relentless monotony of my life in 2021 and the solitary confinement I've endured for a year. 

So sue me, Sad Boy.

Today's Photo: Remember Shops?



Wednesday, 17 March 2021

March 17, 2021

Just to be on the safe side, I cycled to work today and instead of being in the pocket where it usually lives, the camera stayed firmly in the bag.

At work, Deb the Wednesday-to-Friday receptionist gave me a book.

She's never given me a book before. We've never even talked about books. 

"I picked it up from the supermarket charity book swap table on Saturday night," she said. "Read it in two days, and thought of you - that you'd really like it. It's ever so lovely. Easy to read, and uplifting.

She is generally kind, but it's spooky how this happened on a day when I needed hands-on, in-your-face kindness more than any other day.

The book is The Year of the Hare by Arto Paasilinna, and for someone I chat to for just a few minutes a day, three days a week, Deb certainly has got the measure of me - it looks right up my street.

In the spirit of hau, I have promised her my beloved copy of All Quiet On The Western Front, one of the most remarkable and devastating books I've ever read, so fresh it could've been written yesterday. 

(She said she liked the true crime genre, so it's sort of appropriate?)

Too scared to take pictures of any outside thing, Today's Photo is a picture of my dinner, a kind of bastardised Spaghetti alla Puttanesca. Normal service will (hopefully) resume soon.

 

 

Tuesday, 16 March 2021

March 16, 2021

Because all I've been is different shades of sad non-stop since 2011, when I saw this numberplate in front of me on the way home from work today it gave me a rueful smile so I took a photo of it.

 
 
At the next red light, Mr Sad got out of his car and shouted at me for doing so.

It has to be said, this has just made me more sad.

Today's Photo: Backwards Raindrop


 

 

Monday, 15 March 2021

March 15, 2021

If you've ever wondered what it might be like to be attacked by a crocodile, read Prey To A Crocodile by Val Plumwood.

If you've ever wondered what it might be like to bring up three small children including baby twin boys during a lockdown, read Bringing Up Baby Twins During Lockdown by Katherine Anne Rose.

If you've ever wondered what Wendell Berry thinks of the Great Economy, read Wendell Berry and the Great Economy by John Médaille.

I got 72% for the essay. High marks don't make me feel proud or glad, they make me feel cringey and peculiar and I don't know why.

Someone was flying a kite on the rec today. This made me happy.

Today's Photo: Kite

 

Sunday, 14 March 2021

March 14, 2021

A fallen friend in the wild wood gave a fascinating glimpse into the inside of a tree and also the macro worlds that live on the surface:

 




It was all very spring-like in the park and listening to music through headphones helped distract me from, and therefore feel less anxious about, the hordes of people there.

I figured I'm going to have to learn how to be comfortable amongst the humans again sooner or later so might as well practice.

Much prefer the wildlife though.


Today's Photo: Unexpected Item In the Forest Area




Saturday, 13 March 2021

March 13, 2021

Went out on a Saturday night for the first time in ages!

Here I am all dressed up for it:

It was an MRI scan for my tinnitus. Got to take your entertainment where you can find it these days. 

The noise of the scanner reminded me of some of the music I listen to. 

I didn't fall asleep in it this time.

7pm on a Saturday seemed like a strange time for a hospital appointment, but turns out the radiology department operates 8.30am to 8.30pm seven days a week.

Walking home I found 50p on the pavement so the whole experience left me better off. God bless the NHS.

Saw the sun rise this morning:


It's the best time of day. 

I'm fascinated by the fact that every morning just past dawn, a whole bunch of seagulls congregate on the rec for a pow-pow, before going their separate ways to do whatever it is seagulls do all day.

Words I needed to look up in the dictionary while reading the 187-page PhD thesis:

Praxis
Affective
Fungible
Nexus 
Positivist
Scalar
Viscid
Epistemology
Ethology
Antimony
Discursive
Hegemonic
Organoleptic
Endogenous
Polemics
Haptic
 

Today's Photo: Hospital Car Park Catkins
 



Friday, 12 March 2021

March 12, 2021

Doing the blog early tonight as I have a wild evening ahead - got a 187-page PhD thesis on post-structural political ecologies of the body lined up to read. 

Woohoo! 

Loving that Friday Feeling.


This is a 2,400 year-old mosaic that says 'Be cheerful, enjoy your life.'

Today's Photo: I've Just Seen A Face



Thursday, 11 March 2021

March 11, 2021

I'm still working my way through the greatest 80s YouTube playlist ever.

This one came up while I was making dinner last night.
 

 
 
I loved this song so much when it was in the charts back in 1980. Music wasn't ubiquitous in those days like it is now - you had to wait for the chart rundown on Sunday, or Top of the Pops on a Thursday night, or hope for a chance encounter on another TV programme. Or - your best bet - you'd pray that a Radio One DJ would play it while you happened to be listening.
 
I knew the song was by a band called Split Enz. And that is literally all I knew about it. Then life moved on and I didn't hear it any more and that was that.

Fast-forward to January 1998 and I'm in a department store in downtown Wellington, newly arrived in New Zealand, halfway through a round-the-world trip. I Got You starts playing on the shop speakers. I freeze in my tracks. It's that long-forgotten song! Omg! Why on earth are they playing it here?

Turns out there was a reason for that.

Fast-forward again to the twenty first century and I'm someone who's been mildly harangued by both Finn brothers independently on separate occasions. But that's another story. 
 
I was also there to witness them being gloriously rude to Paul Holmes at Kohimarama Yacht Club live on air (it's ok, he deserved it).

Funny how life turns out, innit.

Handed in the essay at 5pm and went for a Street View crawl around downtown Wellington to celebrate.
 
I miss New Zealand.

Today's Photo: Shopfront



Wednesday, 10 March 2021

March 10, 2021

My excellent colleague Tom nailed it this morning when he listened to my essay woes and said, "It sounds like the problem is you're actually trying to answer the question."

That is EXACTLY what the problem was. I'd been tying myself up in knots earnestly trying to explain how have animals influenced human behaviour in 2000 words when the only possible way of tackling that is either with a single paragraph - "A LOT" - or writing about it for all eternity.

So I went home, stopped worrying about the things I was leaving out, wrote down whatever old bollocks more or less fitted the bill, stuck in a few words like 'ontology' and 'semiotics', and got the thing done.

Yay.

It doesn't have to be perfect; I'm a first year undergrad FFS.

Today's Photo: Welsh Dub


 

Tuesday, 9 March 2021

March 9, 2021

More essay fun!

Wrote another two whole paragraphs today.

When this essay's finished another one's due.

I'm so tired.

Does anything else even exist anymore?

Study support lady told me yesterday to stop getting so bogged down in the detail.

"Get up onto the ceiling!" she said.

Good advice. Now pass me a ladder.


 Today's Photo: Morning View


Sadly that's not the spectral light of a spiritual being dancing on the grass centre-left, it's a scratch on the lens.

 

Monday, 8 March 2021

March 8, 2021

At work I have to walk around outside and today was the first day I didn't need to wear a coat. This is GOOD.

Shopped like a vegan at Lidl. This is GOOD. 

(Although once you notice the logo looks like a fat bloke kicking a D you can never unsee it.)

 
Back home, the sky was blue and lovely while I worked on the essay, and one of my magpie chums came and perched on my balcony. I googled 'what do magpies like to eat' and that exact phrase came up as a search prediction which means other people have magpie chums too. This is GOOD.

(Had no worms or beetles to hand so I just put a few nuts out instead.)

At our meeting, my student support lady talked me through why I was so stuck on the essay and gave me some tips on how to approach it and how to organise it better. After our meeting, I made a new plan, sat down to write, and three decent paragraphs plopped out under three hours. Bearing in mind it took all of Saturday and Sunday to write four terrible ones, this is GOOD.

Needed to return a requested library book so strolled across town in the chill evening air, enjoying the quiet streets and seeing stars for the first time in ages. Thought about how, in a few weeks, the evenings will be light again. This is GOOD.

Treated myself to a takeaway on the way home. When you live on your own, someone else cooking your dinner for you is better than GOOD, it's the BEST.

A nice day. I'm grateful.

Today's Photo: Love Always



Sunday, 7 March 2021

March 7, 2021

It is the sixty sixth day of 2021.

That is all.

I only took one photo today, and here it is: Good Boy


Feels like I've been writing the same paragraph in my essay over and over again since 11am.

Getting nowhere, it's very frustrating.

PS I know the figures go a bit wonky over the weekend but how about this for a brilliant infographic:

Never been happier to see a zero.


Saturday, 6 March 2021

March 6, 2021

Back to the essay grindstone. At least I've started the writing bit now.

As usual I'm hampered by having read far too much and by not having easily retrievable, or indeed coherent, notes so I can find stuff again.

One day I will crack the note-taking thing, goddammit, and come up wth a system that actually works.

One of the things I read today was a well-known anthropology paper. 

Here's my at-the-point-of-reading critique:

 
The author refers throughout to something he calls 'cosmological autism'. He uses that term to describe how a member of an indigenous tribe (or one of their dogs) might lose their ability to 'read' the forest in which they live.

The author says that the person (or dog) struck down by 'cosmological autism' is "rendered soulless". Without a soul, they're no longer normal - a liability. Their condition needs forcibly fixing.

Which may well be true for whatever it is that's striking down the forest folk, but I do wish people with a minimal and very outdated understanding of autism would stop bandying this word around. 

"If the medical condition known as autism refers to a state of isolation that is a result of cognitive difficulties in treating other people as intentional beings (Baron-Cohen 1995), then cosmological autism...  refers to a comparable state that ensues when beings of any sort lose the ability to recognize those other beings that inhabit the cosmos as selves."

That's a hell of a big 'if'.

Perhaps one day I'll write something serious about my profound objection to the phrase 'cosmological autism' but for now I'll just say cheers Anthropology Dude for perpetuating offensive and dangerous stereotypes. 

Hate to rain on your parade, bro, but I'm autistic and I have no difficulty at all in treating other people as intentional beings who are selves that inhabit the cosmos. Feels like more of a neurotypical thing to treat living entities as objects, if I'm honest. For example, you should see what neurotypicals say about autistic people! Oh, wait.

For the record, it's extremely common for autistic people to have a heightened sensitivity to nature (a charming example here, and I'll also throw Chris Packham into the ring for further evidence. Or how about Dara McAnulty. Or how about Greta). 

All of that 'becoming other' stuff you describe in your paper sort of comes with the territory - we tend to have way too much empathy, not none at all. For animals AND people. Which is exactly the opposite of what you are stating.

We're also really good at noticing details, which would be super-useful if we lived in a forest.

So. There's plenty of helpful and up-to-date information listed over at Ann Memmott's blog in case you'd like to rethink your career-defining catchphrase. 

A good start might be one paper she mentions, Empirical Failures of the Claim That Autistic People Lack a Theory of Mind (Gernsbacher & Yergeau 2019), which concludes:

"In this article, we have demonstrated how the claim that autistic people lack a theory of mind fails empirically; it fails in its specificity, universality, replicability, convergent validity, and predictive validity.
 
Despite these numerous empirical failures, the claim pervades psychology and well beyond. It is embraced by scholars in philosophy, sociology, economics, anthropology, robotics, and narratology. It colors contemporary entertainment, and it headlines informational websites. It has spawned unusual speculations, evoking metaphysical, psychoanalytic, and neurochemical  explanations.
 
The claim that autistic people lack a theory of mind is so entrenched that when existing measures fail to support the claim, researchers create new measures. For example, Baron-Cohen and his colleagues motivated the need for a new theory-of-mind task by claiming that autistic adults must “have a selective theory of mind deficit,” even though existing theory-of-mind tests “are not subtle enough to detect [that] deficit”.... The development of more and more theory-of-mind tests resembles a methodological arms race."
 
Excerpt edited for clarity and Jesus wept. Perhaps one day people will start listening to the experiences of autistic people rather than connoisseurs of neurotypical exceptionalism like Simon Baron Cohen.

In other news:

How do animals see the world?

Five Things I've Discovered, Struggled With And Learned From Japan After Returning 'Home' From Hawaii

Mood Lines

I Have One Of The Most Advanced Prosthetic Arms In The World - And I Hate It

What's The 'Draw A Person In The Rain' Test All About?

Today's Photo: Drawing Of A Person In The Rain


 

 

Friday, 5 March 2021

March 5, 2021

Nothing to report. I asked for an extension to the essay deadline then took the rest of the day off.

A week of intense thinking has taken its toll - I'm knackered.

Saw a tweet that captures the This Time Last Year vibe:

Still blissfully unaware I was running out of time to do cool stuff like go to the cinema, visit a shop that wasn't a supermarket or hang out with actual humans, on 5 March 2020 I was stunned to discover a book given to me by colleague who'd never been to New Zealand had a Real Groovy sticker on the back:

New Zealand finds ways to remind me it's still there and that I can go back any time I like.

Tried the MyHeritage 'deep nostalgia' thing that's been doing the rounds on a photo of my mum. 

Not sure I like it - it's made her weirdly twitchy:

My current non-academic read is Caroline Criado Perez's Invisible Women. Hence the photo du jour: Default Male Goes To Reception.


 I only took three photos today and this one was the least bad.


Thursday, 4 March 2021

March 4, 2021

Another covid anniversary.

On 4 March last year I went to see my favourite Eskimo-faced Brechtian alienator, Stewart Lee.

It was the last time I left the house for fun.

Couldn't find his amazing rendition of Alan Bennett's Sharknado, so here's him sharing some online reviews instead:

 
(vey strong language!)

I miss real life.

Studied 10am to 6pm again. I'm still researching the essay. It was slightly less fun today because I've started panicking about the deadline.

The essay's reached the stage where I feel like I'm carrying seven large sacks of custard and now just need to work out how to sculpt them into a statue of a giraffe.

Today's Photo: Sentinel



Wednesday, 3 March 2021

March 3, 2021

Not sure how it came about but I'm having an attack of the normals.

Washed up a sinkful of dishes last night; that led to a full-on clean of the kitchen area. 

(Can't in all honesty call it a 'kitchen' due to its tiny dimensions.)

Inspired by having a super-clean cooking space for a change, tonight I chopped an onion FOR THE FIRST TIME THIS YEAR and I'm currently halfway through making Jack Monroe's gigantes plaki:

I'm even listening to music - which happens all too rarely these days - having found the greatest YouTube 80s playlist ever.

Had another good - dare I say enjoyable - day's study too.

Whatever this is, I hope it lasts.

Today's Photo: Wellfield Road Backwards


 


Tuesday, 2 March 2021

March 2, 2021

Deep into essay territory now so the only thing going on is reading and thinking.

It takes me ages to get there but when I'm in the zone, I'm in the zone.

Then it's head down, dive in, get the job done.

Looking forward to about five days of forgetting to eat and sleep.

Today's Photo: Two Dictionaries


 

Monday, 1 March 2021

March 1, 2021

The day began grey:


 But got progressively more colourful:


And it peaked with an encounter with a 14-week-old pup in the park who looked something like this:

(pic nicked off internet)

Soaked up some vitamin D afterwards on my power bench:

Then came home, ate a healthy meal for once, and did some good studying.

If you get to fuss a random puppy in the park, it's officially a good day, right?

Today's Photo: Tree Heart