One Fine Weasel: June 25, 2021

Yesterday's best guess was that the essay had been marked, but for whatever reason the result hadn't been uploaded to Turnitin.

The final results were due to be released today, so I guessed I only need worry if the grade for this module didn't show up there.

At 10am sharp, the results were uploaded. And there it was, Creating Culture:

The relief. Talk about a weight off.

And it did way better than I expected.

Suddenly, my brain started working again. With no tension there was clarity, for once.

I went to email the tutor to ask her to upload her feedback toTurnitin, but got an out of office message. Okay, that can wait until she's back.

I thought about how come every single thing I've handed in has felt to me like it's utterly superficial, scraped together with minimum endeavour, poorly argued without depth or merit and yet I'm getting these stellar marks. And I realised, maybe I'm comparing myself to everyone I've ever read, all those hugely smart and talented writers whose words and ideas I've been hoovering up voraciously for years, rather than to other undergraduates.

Then the lightning bolt - instead of quitting or flouncing off to OU, why don't I see if I can transfer my degree programme? The uni does Anthropology and Heritage combined, which would mean I'd get practical experience of working in an archive and this, realistically, would suit me a thousand times better than ethnographic fieldwork. I mean, I archive for fun in my spare time. Why did I not think of this before???

[Note to self: find out if I'd be able to study remotely and/or get temporary study leave from my job.]

With my future suddenly magically sorted, everything just kept getting better and better. I finally washed up a sinkful of mouldering dishes. My friend Sam texted and we're going to hang out on Wednesday. I went to the cinema to see The Reason I Jump and it was great. I cycled there and back which was pleasant and crossing the River Taff I saw two unusual sights - a submerged car, and a huge congregation of massive fish - about 30 or 40 of them in the shallows near the bank (somebody said they were trout?).

Later, I did a grocery shop to replenish my empty fridge (been existing on bread & biscuits all this week), then went for a walk round Roath Lake and treated myself to a 99 from the ice cream van. There were ducklings, and the sun came out.