If I keep this up, in two days time I will have blogged something - anything - any old shit but who cares, it's an online scrapbook/diary for me not for you, Karen - every day for an entire month.
Toot toot!
Small steps to claw my way back to the land of the living after 10 impossible years.
Anyway, let's not celebrate til the 32nd January; there is always time to let a good habit slide.
Not a bad day today.
Spoke to my new student support person, Judith, who promised to help with the scatterbrain quagmire and gave me some homework to do for Monday.
Because it's small easy homework and not big impossible homework and it doesn't actually matter if I do it or not, there's a fair chance I'll actually get it done, if only to impress her (fight? flight? freeze? FAWN ✔).
There was an afternoon seminar on Teams where I became transfixed by the slightly bad painting of a dog on the wall behind the tutor's head.
(They probably discussed coursework, I dunno.)
And then - at last - at three minutes past five - I got the critical review back.
Apparently it's a common autistic thing: if you're waiting for some specific thing to happen, that's all you CAN do - wait.
Expecting a phone call at lunchtime? Out of action all morning while you anticipate that phone call. Upcoming appointment? All bets off for the rest of the day/week/month, you're in a state of suspended animation until the appointment is over. It's really good fun.
I've been waiting for the marks to come through since Wednesday, so that could explain why I've been feeling particularly stuck these last few days.
Anyway it was ok. I passed. 75%. This is my lowest (lowest!) grade so far.
WHY DO I WORRY SO MUCH??
I can start worrying about the essay that's due in next Friday now.
Today's online greatness:
Another dino footprint found at the Bendricks. I went there looking for dino prints in November but all I found was a sun trap and peace and quiet and happiness.
There is a stuffed frog museum in Split, Croatia, "comprised of 21 exhibits which show thematically arranged frogs."
I do like a nice thematically arranged frog so have added it to my list of places to visit (the dachshund museum and the Arnie museum are also on this list).
Book Twitter came up trumps with this excellent exposé of what those bookseller descriptions REALLY mean:
"5 tweets in and we have learned nothing. you are welcome."
"we'll say faded, or 'lightly browned' or 'a little tired' when what we mean is 'this book has grazed the abyss'"
"'sophisticated' literally means 'the book is a fake'. 'extra-illustrated' means 'someone cut up and pasted a bunch of images inside the book like the love child of picasso and edward scissorhands'"
I loved the attitude of this nature girl, "coming at [survival] from a place of relationship rather than brute strength and dominance."
Girl? She's in her 40s.
"“When we use the word ‘survival’,” she says, “it implies that the world is somehow out to get us. That we have to grit our teeth and endure it, to survive against all odds. That’s the polar opposite of my approach, which involves a sense of belonging...”"
Thought that was great and needed to hear it. Living in Britain at the moment quite literally feels like a struggle to survive, but maybe a tweak of mindset could make it feel less grim.
Someone tweeted the Vic and Bob George Michael 'Stars in Your Eyes' clip:
I was in the audience for the filming of this. It's been cut down for TV, but in the studio the George Michael dancing went on for ever and got funnier the longer it went on - the Kristen Schaal is a Horse effect - and I laughed so much I genuinely feared for my life because there was delirium and I couldn't breathe (the Kung Fu Kapers effect).
Good times. I miss those days.
And obviously I've not been able to listen to Faith since without it making me grin.
Today's photo: What Is Dog?
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