I am trying hard to love Marvin.
It is only a matter of re-educating my thoughts.
So every time he lets his door bang in the wind ALL DAY I merely remind myself that some people simply don't notice irritating noise the way I do, and find a rubber doorstop to push under it.
Every time he spends hours in the shower, singing along to a portable radio and splashing water all over the floor, I remember he has never lived away from his parents before so it would be an act of kindness to show him in an assertive way how to share living space with strangers.
Every time he knocks on my door at 1am, offering me a cheese and onion pasty in case I feel hungry in the night, I thank my lucky stars I have such a thoughtful housemate.
Every time I am in the kitchen and I turn round to see him standing there pondering his next gormless announcement, I try and transmute my irritation into "aw, bless, his naivety is endearing".
Fate has thrown us together and it is looking increasingly likely we will be sharing space for at least another six months. Closely linked to this, I sincerely believe it is in my best interests to make my own life as serene as possible.
And so on Tuesday night, when I looked round to find Marvin silently observing my meal preparations (steak, salad) I merely smiled and said hello, how you doing?
And when he suddenly blurted out "I want you to teach me how to make a sandwich, how do you make a sandwich?" I barely batted an eyelid.
After a sharp intake of breath, I was even able to outline the rudiments of sandwich making without churlishness, deceit, sarcasm or violence.
Just because Marvin is an idiot it does not mean I cannot be charitable.