It's Flatmate's birthday next week.
Here's what he's said he wants: Oriental Princess hair remedy, a crystal star to hang in his window, lots and lots of Kinder chocolate.
Here's what I'm thinking of getting him (in addition to the above; after listening carefully to unrelated conversations): an Avril Lavigne poster, an electric toothbrush, a long blonde wig.
Naturellement, I will also bake him a cake in the shape of a monkey.
Flatmate is, of course, a 30something-year-old heterosexual male and NOT, as this post may indicate, a pubescent girl.