No, Wait

Scrub the previous thought, I've had a better idea.

I was going to write about my record collection, specifically, my singles (and these things are the love of my life), but since I've barely left my flat since 23 March and it looks like there'll be little to no chance of a holiday this year, I think I would like instead to relive past travel adventures - go on holiday vicariously, as it were, with the aid of old photos, notebooks and diaries.

So if you would like to learn how a Weasel likes to explore foreign places (and trust me, it's not like how ordinary people do it) then WATCH THIS SPACE.

First installment coming soon, when I will recreate my 2019 attempt to drive round Europe in a month.

(Spoiler: Europe's quite big. Who knew?)

The adventure comprised almost entirely of car parks, McDonalds, McDonalds car parks, anxiety, toilet anxiety and wondering what all the signs say, but there were boring bits too.

Find out what it's like to travel without a smartphone, relying purely on rat cunning and a 2018 Philip's Road Atlas! Discover how to be a tourist when you don't like going where everybody else goes and for that reason scorn guidebooks! Understand how to plan a month-long trip based on things you read in the comments section of a Guardian article rather than anything concrete or sensible! Learn how to communicate abroad when your grasp of even English is not that great and under pressure you're liable to confuse "bonjour" and "au revoir"!

The holiday was, obviously, a blast.

I can't wait to get started.